Chorus:

I'm the man, the well-fed man in charge of the terrible knob The most pleasing thing about it, it's almost a permanent job When the atom war is over and the world is split in three A consolation I've got, well maybe it's not, there'll be nobody left but me

I sit at me desk in Washington in charge of this great machine
More vicious than Adolf Hitler, more deadly than strychenine
And in the evening after a tiring day just to give meself a laugh
I hit the button a playful belt and I listen for the blast

(Chorus)

If Brezjnev starts his nonsense and makes a nasty smell
With a wink and a nod from Nixon, I'll blast them all to hell
And as for that fellow Castro, him with the sugar cane
He needn't hide behind his whiskers, I'll get 'm just the same

(Chorus)

If me wife denies me conjucular rights or me breakfast milk is sour
From eight to nine in the morning you're in for a nervous hour
The button being so terribly close, it's really a dreadful joke
A bump of me ass as I go past and we'll all go up in smoke

(Chorus)

Now I'm thinking of joining the army, the army that bans the bomb
We'll take up a large collection and I'll donate my thumb
For without it I am helpless and that's the way to be
You don't have to kill the whole bloody lot to make the people free

Performed by The Dubliners. Written by Enoch Kent.